Nick Piccone
Comedian Eleanor Kerrigan stole the show at Thursday night’s third annual Philly Sports Roast that was organized by Joe Conklin. Proceeds of the event went to the Coaches vs. Cancer program in Philadelphia, and the drinks were aplenty and the food was delicious.
Cataldi ripped Eskin before the roasters got their chance, calling Eskin stupid and a liar, citing Fletcher Cox’s new contract with the Eagles, which is about the same amount Eskin reported earlier this year that he turned down. “Follow Eskin on Twitter @purebullshit.”
That started off the night well.
Kerrigan, an avid Boston Rex Sox fan, burned Eskin and Cataldi well done and received the loudest laughs of the night by far. By going after Eskin’s misogynistic views of the world and Cataldi for being a Yankees fan, Kerrigan instantly became a hit; so much so that she made Merrill Reese’s roast pale in comparison. That’s just because Reese is too nice of a guy to actually say anything bad about anyone.
“Howard Eskin calls everybody a genius. Next to Howard, everybody is a genius,” was perhaps his best line. That’s when Conklin put on his big boy pants and roasted Eskin like we’d hope Reese would do.
“Eskin and Cataldi are like vinegar and water. Put them together and you have the perfect douche.” It took a while for the crowd to settle down after that one.
There were some other notable moments. John Gonzalez got out his pitchfork and didn’t hold back. The former 97.5 The Fanatic host said Eskin was kicked off the airwaves by Mike Missanelli, who I would have loved to make a cameo appearance. I knew it would never happen, but Missanelli not being on his show yesterday afternoon set some text messages in motion that eventually debunked that theory. But Gonzo wasn’t afraid of pulling that card as being the “outsider” of WIP.
The best was saved for last, however. After making fun of Eskin’s ass-kissing abilities, Cataldi fired, “That beard is a collection of Andy Reid’s ass hair, Mike Schmidt’s chest hair, Pete Rose’s armpit hair and Charles Barkley’s ball hair.” Well put.
Overall, it was a good crowd – much more people than last year’s it felt like – and worth the wait. Next year, let’s roast Josh Innes? That one could be gold.
You can see some of the action from the roast below. Caution: Language is NSFW.
Zzzzzzz